Plan to panic
The deadline for proposals for EclipseCon09 is just two weeks away! OK it’s still two whole weeks, so no panic, but since we all know you’re not going to submit anything until the very last minute anyway, now might be a good time to plan on panicking.
Some suggestions, just to get yourself ready:
- Scream “OMG! OMG! Why did I put this off for so long?!”. Practice on family pet, then try on a loved one.
- Send out a mad flurry of emails to people who you’ve said, “You know, we should really write a paper on that someday”, asking them if they can remember what the heck exactly “that” was.
- Open whatever app you like for document writing. Turn on favorite music. Stare at blank page for awhile. Go get coffee, return, repeat.
- Write some gibberish. Close without saving. Curse. Tell your workmates how brilliant the proposal was while flaming the software tools industry for allowing innocent users to exit without saving.
- For inspiration, browse EclipseCon08 papers. Remember how clever that Cory Doctorow was. Go to BoingBoing, read some posts. Follow links to steampunk sites. Puzzle as to why your web browser is open in the first place.
- While at lunch, suddenly shout out, “Quiet, I’m trying to concentrate!”, then resume eating. Try first in busy cafeteria, then at Wendy’s drive thru for contrast.
- Get out notepad, a blue pen, and a red pen. In blue write, “EclipseCon09 Submission Outline” at the top. Carefully underline it. Use the red pen for that. Pick up blue pen. Draw happy faces and other favorite doodles. Alternate last step with red pen. Ponder the wonder of color and whether paper and ink is additive or subtractive. Try to remember which pill you were supposed to take in The Matrix.
- Stare wild eyed at whoever walks into your office. Try not to listen to anything they say while compulsively glancing back at computer.
With this guidance, I believe you’ll be fully prepared for the inevitable last minute submission panic.
Posted November 12th, 2008 by Kevin McGuire in category: Uncategorized
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6 Responses to “Plan to panic”
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Ian Skerrett Says:
November 12th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Not to make you panic, but the deadline is actually 12 days away; less than 2 weeks.
Bob Fraser Says:
November 12th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
Brilliant, just brilliant
Tim Ellison Says:
November 13th, 2008 at 8:27 am
ROFL — and I thought it was just me You don’t know how true that sounds!
Thanks for cheering up my day.
Wayne Beaton Says:
November 13th, 2008 at 10:27 am
I’m just moving past step 5 now. Am looking forward to step 6…
Denis Roy Says:
November 13th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Great advice, thanks!
Martin Oberhuber Says:
November 13th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Hilarious! This one’s entering my personal Hall of Fame of blog postings, right next to this one from earlier this year…